Today I met an Incredible Soul.

Today I met the person I've been looking for, without even knowing who she was going to be & without physically meeting with her - just a voice on the phone. I was driving home and listening to talk radio. The caller is talking about spirits & she says that there's a message that needs to be delivered. This caught my attention & I raised the volume.

At that moment a commercial for an eye care product comes on the radio & I hear "You must call... this message is for you." Sure this sounds like a typical sales pitch, but I felt an omen at that moment and needed to call - not for the product - but for the message. I felt that there was a message for me to hear. I can't explain it - but I needed to call.

So as the operator is describing the product, we start chit-chatting. She asks me a few questions about me & before I know it she is suggesting that I read "Power of Now." "I was just looking into getting it" I replied. We continue to talk & I am feeling inspired by her words coming thru on the phone. She was so uplifting & very supportive, without even knowing who I was. So I tell her that I appreciate her words & ask her how she can keep up her spirits. She replies that normally it's not hard, but today was a bit difficult because a friend of hers has just lost him wife & child to a car accident.

Holy S*%T - no coincidence that I am here talking with her!! I explained to her that this is what my project is about & how I am working to assist families with this type of grief. "This is exactly what I was looking for" she tells me. Then she asks why I do this. I explain to her that "I do this because I have lost 7 person in the last nine years & I needed to heal." But also explain that most of those people have come to me in spirit right before passing. And that they all wanted to convey the message of "Peace & Love" for us all. She replies "Wow, that funny! because I talk with people after they have passed" & the message they need to convey is pretty much the same.

I say no coincidence because before I called, I was doubting that I was not going to be able to coach my participants of the upcoming Self-Expression and Leadership program, effectively (That was my little voice trying to talk me out of it). I was asking God for someone who would understand what I was up to, who I am and the ability to put into words what I was looking to accomplish.

I asked for inspiration and wisdom. And sure enough there was this voice on the other end providing exactly what I had asked for. She even put into word what this Descansos project is all about...

"Transforming the energy of grief, rage and hopelessness into and energy of peace, harmony and love."

This is exactly how I can verbalize the intent of my project. Thank you.

Now for the friend, who lost his family, I needed to verbalize a message. That the only thing we can do is listen. The feeling of grief is his and his alone - it can be overwhelming at times though. No words of wisdom will offer relief because our version of grief is not his version. The only thing that matters is being a compassionate ear for him - Be a stand for his ability to work thru his grief and just be there to allow him to express his grief & hopelessness.

So in my experience of loosing someone dear to me so unexpectantly, was to get it out! The thing that worked for me was to write a 'suffering' letter to the person with whom I was angry. (In my case - I was angry at my father-in-law for dying - & leaving us - without a fight - long story). For her friend, it could be to the person that caused the accident. I wrote all my anger and rage out onto a piece of paper and read it to a friend over & over again until it -truly- left me. I don't know how this works, but it did!

I cried and sobbed while I read my letter. All my friend did was listen, cry with me and then just listened some more. And by the eight time I read it, the crying and sobbing had diminished. l worked thru my own grief. And by doing so, the anger and whatever rage I had bottled up inside me were released.

My feelings and thoughts of anger, helplessness and rage - put down on paper - were transformed. They became - like flies stuck on flypaper - out there away from me and finally outside of me. This new found freedom allows me to create anew. A new life transformed from one of anger and grief to one of acceptance, love and peace.

In closing, I ask that we WAKE UP!! and realize that families in grief do not need to hear "get over it..." "Life goes on..." "It's time to move on..." "I know what you are feeling..." All they need is a compassionate ear that will listen unconditionally & without judgment and without fear to speak of death.

I realized that to remain in my dark cave of fear, is to not know & live with the world around me.