Baby Grace :: Update

This morning, in the process of moving my office, I found a copy of the letter I wrote to the CEO of Sun Recycling on December 28, 2006. Sun Recycling is where Baby Grace's body was found in the dumpster back in November. See on Dec 21st, Sun Recycling provided a funeral service to honor her death and again I had a hard time dealing with this story. I could not live with the news story that one-day old Baby Grace, was laid to rest. I could not accept that a human being could discarded a baby like yesterday's trash. I could not accept that a human being can be so cold & heartless.

But judgements do nothing but criticize. Actually what I could not accept was living with my own inadequacies - my story that a single human cannot make any difference. See my story sounded like this: "That's just the way things are..." and "It's unfair but what can I do about it?..." I have valid reasons for being this way & I hear that story running like a tape in my head - over and over again... I got sick of it!!! I cannot just sit here & let it go by like yesterday's news - into the trash. I could not accept that things had to be like this.

Appropriately so the week I was looking for what I can do, the S.E.L.P. classroom was about "being unreasonable." Living outside of the reasons we give ourselves; beyond the limits we live in; beyond an ordinary life and just living into an extraordinary life. So I took on that challenge. I want an extra-ordinary life!

So I made an "unreasonable" request! My letter requested that, besides being unreasonable in providing funeral services for a baby he never knew, I wanted him to be even more unreasonable. I wanted him to allow me to create a Roadside Memorial for Baby Grace on his property. The request was so that I can create my live outside my limits and beyond my reasons. And so that in living an unreasonable life I can dream of an unreasonable society where - not one more baby gets discarded into the trash.

A month went by with no reply and I started to feel small again. My reasons showed up again. Reasons like: "this is just too morbid" - "too weird." - "I don't have any relationship with this poor baby." - "this is too much work!" It is these very reasons that kept my humanity small!

So this morning, as I am thinking of this letter, I get a phone call from Sun Recycling. The call caught me off guard since the man, Andy P. quickly introduced himself and went right into - what are you asking of us! I thought he was going to say no - but he went right into "what do you want to create and what do we have to deal with."

I am amazed at the generosity of these men! The level of commitment, love and compassion. This is inspiring to see the better side of our humanity.

Hope for the future

Today I was able to define the statement for The Compassionate Friends newsletter. In this third workday of the SELP I was able to define my mission statement very clearly. It reads like this:

What I am out to create is to transform the energy of grief, loss, anger and hopelessness into the energy of love, peace and fulfillment. The way that I can make this possibility real is by assisting bereaved parents, who have lost a child thru a traffic fatality. To honor the memory of their child, artists will create a work of art that is representative of the parent's dream, hopes and aspirations. See the future of that child was taken away and the parent no longer has that for their child. The artwork will be indicative of who that child was; the child's favorite color; their favorite activity, etc. It is putting down on canvas the story that represents who their child was for them. Anything that would pay tribute to and honor the memory of their child.

The paintings from different families will be united into a single exhibit that would represent hope and fullfilment. By presenting the paintings in a public space, the family will see that their child's death can serve a higher purpose and that it was not in vain.

The exhibit will also allow other bereaved parents to experience this memorial and realize that there is hope out there for them. They will be inspired by these painting, and the memorials that they represent, to honor their own child by living a life full of love, peace and hope.

My dream is that these paintings will allow families to experience love, peace and fullfilment as a way to alliviate their grief and feelings of loss, anger and hopelessness.

Baby Grace

On Dec 21, a funeral service was held for a baby girl only days old. The services at St. Matthew Catholic Church was held in the presence of 50 persons who really cared for Baby Grace. People like the workers who found her 6-pound, 19-1/2-inch body; the police detective who is investigating her death; even the owner of the plant, who paid for the services, was present. But unfortunately a grieving mother was nowhere to be found.

See Baby Grace was found dead in a garbage dumpster, her umbilical chord still attached. She was buried in a donated, ivory-colored dress trimmed with tiny rosebuds and pearls. The white 2-foot long casket carried this angel to her final resting place. The motorcade taking her to the cemetery even had a police escort. She came into this world all alone, but definitely did not leave it that way. She was surrounded by 50 persons who cared for her - even though they were all strangers.

Florida law allows parents to drop off unwanted babies at hospitals, fire stations and emergency medical facilities with no penalty of law. So Baby Grace's mother must have been in a serious situation and maybe not even aware of this law. My assertion is that she must have been desperately alone. Why else would she see discarding Baby Grace into a dumpster as her only option and why would she never step forward to claim her when she was found. Lord, give me strength!

So through Baby Grace's memory I can see the possibility of Love, Forgiveness and Compassion. By creating this possibility, out of what I see missing, I can go out into this world and make sure that her death was not in vain. I can commemorate the memory of Baby Grace; I can learn to forgive such an inhumane act and I can create compassion so that not another baby will be discarded into the trash.