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Strangest Coincidence...
Today the strangest 'coincidence' occurred for me. As I am driving down the Fla Turnpike I am on the phone with my mother (headset of course). See two major things were occurring for me these last weeks.
First :: My mother is ill (diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and given only 9 months to live). She had an incident this weekend and went to the emergency room. I was feeling guilty because I was out of town for the weekend and now Monday I am loaded up with client meetings. I did not allow time to be with her - and its four days now. I'm feeling really guilty about this - even my sister made a point that I have not spent to much time with my mother since she became ill. She tells me "we don't have much time with her..." This whole weekend I have been dealing with what could happen to my mother.
Second :: I have been thinking of the roadside memorial of Laura Maness. I even dreamt about her life and was visualizing the decorations on her memorial. See her memorial is decorated with flowers, toys and angels. I was considering going to the memorial and retaking some pictures, but have not made time for that. I was also thinking of the legislation that her husband Lawrence Maness got passed to create Spouse Day in her memory. See Laura left behind 5 kids and Lawrence would honor her commitment to her family while she was alive by having a "spouse day" for her. The legislation of Spouse Day takes that honor and makes it a possibility for all of us.
Both of these events have been keeping my mind preoccupied. So now back to the Turnpike. As I hang up the phone with my mother I start to feel that I should be there with my mother - instead of driving to Miami to meet with my clients. The little voice in my head is telling me "Who knows how much longer you are going to have with her..." I resigned myself to continuing my trip to Miami - and shrugged-off my guilt about my mother. so my story is "Oh sure she will understand - after all I need to keep my business running and clients just won't understand."
At this moment my rear passenger-side tire explodes! I try to cross to the shoulder to the right - but there are a couple of cars there. The tire feels more like its ready to fall off the rim, so I slide over to the center emergency lane. This lane is barely wide enough for my car so I squeeze in - trying to leave myself room to change the tire and not be in the travel lane. I have no idea where I am nor what exit I am near.
As I sit there for a couple of minutes trying to make calls to towing companies and I start to get frustrated that its going to take several hours to get this done. Again I think about my mother and the fact that I am not with her nor am I going to make this meeting with my clients. I got frustrated and open up the door. As I start to step out of the car, I freeze in my tracks.
I froze because I am standing facing the roadside memorial of Laura Maness just across the road. This sends goose bumps up my spine and causes me to breakout in tears! I had no clue where I was - until that moment! Forget the meeting! I start to think of Laura's kids - they do not have a mother alive to be with. I do! Laura was a mother of 5 kids and she lost her life in her prime. My mother also has 5 kids and now is stricken, with terminal cancer, in her prime. No coincidence here! I have been dealing with both of these items and in this moment I am confront by both issues.
I consider this moment to be an omen - trying to show me where my relationship with my mother is heading. If things continue as they are I may lose my mother before I could say goodbye. I breakdown in tears at the thought of losing my mother.
This is the kind of thing that brings me back to reality and allows me to see what is really important in this life. So what I got from this experience is the possibility of Love, Relatedness and Courage. With courage I can face my mom's illness & possible death; I can love her how she is and how she is not - right now! & being related to who she is fills me with hope.
First :: My mother is ill (diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and given only 9 months to live). She had an incident this weekend and went to the emergency room. I was feeling guilty because I was out of town for the weekend and now Monday I am loaded up with client meetings. I did not allow time to be with her - and its four days now. I'm feeling really guilty about this - even my sister made a point that I have not spent to much time with my mother since she became ill. She tells me "we don't have much time with her..." This whole weekend I have been dealing with what could happen to my mother.
Second :: I have been thinking of the roadside memorial of Laura Maness. I even dreamt about her life and was visualizing the decorations on her memorial. See her memorial is decorated with flowers, toys and angels. I was considering going to the memorial and retaking some pictures, but have not made time for that. I was also thinking of the legislation that her husband Lawrence Maness got passed to create Spouse Day in her memory. See Laura left behind 5 kids and Lawrence would honor her commitment to her family while she was alive by having a "spouse day" for her. The legislation of Spouse Day takes that honor and makes it a possibility for all of us.
Both of these events have been keeping my mind preoccupied. So now back to the Turnpike. As I hang up the phone with my mother I start to feel that I should be there with my mother - instead of driving to Miami to meet with my clients. The little voice in my head is telling me "Who knows how much longer you are going to have with her..." I resigned myself to continuing my trip to Miami - and shrugged-off my guilt about my mother. so my story is "Oh sure she will understand - after all I need to keep my business running and clients just won't understand."
At this moment my rear passenger-side tire explodes! I try to cross to the shoulder to the right - but there are a couple of cars there. The tire feels more like its ready to fall off the rim, so I slide over to the center emergency lane. This lane is barely wide enough for my car so I squeeze in - trying to leave myself room to change the tire and not be in the travel lane. I have no idea where I am nor what exit I am near.
As I sit there for a couple of minutes trying to make calls to towing companies and I start to get frustrated that its going to take several hours to get this done. Again I think about my mother and the fact that I am not with her nor am I going to make this meeting with my clients. I got frustrated and open up the door. As I start to step out of the car, I freeze in my tracks.
I froze because I am standing facing the roadside memorial of Laura Maness just across the road. This sends goose bumps up my spine and causes me to breakout in tears! I had no clue where I was - until that moment! Forget the meeting! I start to think of Laura's kids - they do not have a mother alive to be with. I do! Laura was a mother of 5 kids and she lost her life in her prime. My mother also has 5 kids and now is stricken, with terminal cancer, in her prime. No coincidence here! I have been dealing with both of these items and in this moment I am confront by both issues.
I consider this moment to be an omen - trying to show me where my relationship with my mother is heading. If things continue as they are I may lose my mother before I could say goodbye. I breakdown in tears at the thought of losing my mother.
This is the kind of thing that brings me back to reality and allows me to see what is really important in this life. So what I got from this experience is the possibility of Love, Relatedness and Courage. With courage I can face my mom's illness & possible death; I can love her how she is and how she is not - right now! & being related to who she is fills me with hope.
Labels: coincidence, memorial, messenger, roadside