We Have Moved

Blogger has served us well for many years and we are appreciative of the service they provided. But like anything else, we have outgrown it.

We are still located at the same url : www.descansos.org/blog - and still posting so come and check us out.

The only thing that has changed is that we are no longer using Blogger as our blogging platform. We are self-hosting (like we always have) and just needed more freedom to continue to do so.

This page will redirect you there automatically...


Thank you, & I hope the change does not inconvenience you
Pablo

Got Domain Back!!

Woo Hoooooo!!

I got the domain descansos.org back!!!

Back in January, my domain was taken. I was in Peru during the renewal period and was blindly trusting that the hosting company would renewed it. I was not concerned & even had a backup plan "If there's a problem, I will be back before the grace period is up anyway."

Well, somehow it did not & the grace period was not honored. A 'domain name reseller' took it the same day it expired & I had to buy it back.

Fortunately it was not outrageously expensive but I did loose it for 2 months.

Lesson learned, forgive & forget & today descansos.org is back in action.

Healing the World One Person at a Time

Today I was looking for inspiration. I took action & started creating way to inspire myself. I thought to myself "The only person that is going to inspire me is me." What I mean is that I have to take action & be inspired for me. I have not felt like writing lately so I forced myself to do it. I have not posted in a while so I inspired myself to just do it.

What I did was find inspiring people and rely on their stories to be inspired by. So the first person I thought of is Paulo Cuelho. he is truly inspiring to me & the first thing I read is this story.

Rebuilding The World
A father was trying to read the newspaper, but his little son kept pestering him. Finally, the father grew tired of this and, tearing a page from the newspaper - one that bore a map of the world - he cut it into several pieces and handed them to his son.

'Right, now you've got something to do. I've given you a map of the world and I want to see if you can put it back together correctly.' He resumed his reading, knowing that the task would keep the child occupied for the rest of the day. However, a quarter of an hour later, the boy returned with the map.

'Has your mother been teaching you geography?' asked his father in astonishment.

'I don't even know what that is,' replied the boy. 'But there was a photo of a man on the other side of the page, so I put the man back together and found I'd put the world back together too.'

--Paulo Coelho
Stories for Parents, Children and Grandchildren

What I am getting out of this is that by putting myself together, I am causing the world to be together as well. In healing what is incomplete, I heal me and in the process I allow those around me to heal themselves; they in turn allow space for those around them to heal & so on & so on.... Thereby allowing the world to heal.

This concept is really empowering and gives me a new perspective on being complete with my grieving process.

A thousand Hands Come Together as One...

This week I have been feeling stressed & overworked.

My excuse is: I don't have time to do this work; plus run my business; plus preparing & creating a Forgiveness Seminar; plus being a coach; a Leader Training Leaders; plus creating an architectural presentation in Peru for a client - that doesn't exist - but who I am inventing to enter my life; plus being father & husband to my family.

And then on top of that, keep updating this blog.

Yes, I know that it sounds like I'm complaining, And yes I am - but only as a way of getting it out of my system. OK 5 minutes of complaing are now complete! But that is not what I'm committed to doing. So I have to admit that this feeling of overwhelm comes only from my everpresent feeling of being alone & that I have to do all this alone. And in distinguishing this for myself (with the assistance of my trusty coach), I see that if I was being honest with myself, I am really not alone.

The thing that showed up for me in the last month or so, is that 3 more people in my life have passed away. This is the excuse I use to feel alone - see I have evidence now that people are leaving me. "See they left - I am alone now!" But what I am not choosing to see is that they have gone to God & are now one with the creator. Isn't that what all faith-believing beings want? Even more on a personal level, they are not leaving ME!!!

So how do I accept and allow people into my life, so that the feeling of 'alone-ness' does not take me over?

And that's when this image showed up in my life. It is on YouTube & its called the Thousand-Hand Guan Yin. I was fascinated with the quote in the description which I am recreating here:

As long as you are kind and there is love in your heart, A thousand hands will naturally come to your aid.
As long as you are kind and there is love in your heart, You will reach out with a thousand hands to help others.

Guan Yin is the bodhisattva of compassion, revered by Buddhists as the Goddess of Mercy. Her name is short for Guan Shi Yin.

Guan - means to observe, watch, or monitor;
Shi - means the world;
Yin - means sounds, specifically sounds of those who suffer.

Thus, Guan Yin is a compassionate being who watches for, and responds to, the people in the world who cry out for help.

This really caught my attention! Guan Shi Yin is the "goddess with a thousand hands. She watches for those in need and has a thousand hands to help."

Metaphorically I understand this to mean that I don't have to do this work alone. I can rely on, and create others to be the thousand hands around me, who can assist in getting this done.

As the performer in the video could not do the dance alone. She had others, to create with her, the beautiful dance & imagery that inspired the audience & inspired me.

Another common Metaphor that comes to mind is President Bush (Senior). He used to say "A Thousand Points of Light"

I am but one point of light & together the thousand points of light can transform the world.

So now I am not alone...

I have chosen to create myself to be one with others and will continue with my commitment to have the people of the world experience - oneness with God.

Helping Him Cry

I have always been uncertain what to say to console someone who has lost a loved one. What can I say - what can I do that would actually make a difference for them?

I can't say that I know what they are going thru - because I really don't know. I feel saying "I'm sorry about your loss" seems insufficient. I am truly sorry, but what difference does that really make for them.

Words sometimes feel so inadequate - they can't convey true feelings. But I feel that something must be done to let them know I'm there for them.

Well let me share this story to see if this makes a difference for you - it did for me: (UPDATE: I replaced the previous story - which I received in an email - with this one that has a quotable source.)

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

"Nothing ... I just helped him cry."

Just listened & help him cry. Sometimes this is all we need to do. "Doing" is the easy way. Sure we can "do" something to make them feel better, but it is more difficult to decide to just "be with" that person.

Words or actions are not required to touch the heart.

A Simple Though Can Change The World

It's amazing how a simple phrase can change my day, my life AND my world.

"I think, therefore I am"
- Rene Descartes

Lately the circumstance of the world is what everybody is talking about. The financial crisis is affecting millions, including me. What everybody is dwelling on is the fear of the unknown.

But what I learned from this simple quote is that - what I am thinking is what I am creating as my reality. Allowing the negativity of the news and others is what I have been creating for me.

So no wonder I have been feeling - blah!

No I am not suggesting to make believe that the world is great & rosy. No don't make believe that nothing is going on & that the grief will disappear. What I am suggesting is that the negativity of what is going on is - optional. I don't have to choose it!

So this is what I've been pissed at: A few months age, the state of Florida removed all 'unauthorized' roadside memorials from the side of state highways. They put up warnings and when the period expired, they removed every flower, every teddy bear, every cross and decoration to be found. The only thing left was the 'authorized' generic lollipop 'drive safely' symbol that the state puts up. I was pissed & saying to myself "why would the state be so heartless?"

So I got stuck in that for about a month or two. I was mad, upset & pissed that there would not be anymore 'interesting' memorials to photograph. You've seen one lollipop - you've seen them all. What made them interesting, for me at least, was the personality that each family expressed of themselves. The choice in pieces to place. Some people put teddy bears, other put beer bottles. Anything that expressed who the person was for that family.

One family kept a different bottle of Arizona Ice Tea on a monthly rotation. Some families put plastic flowers that got replaced when faded, while others put real flowers. A new colorful bloom every week.

I waited for the news reports of pissed off families, upset that the state would do such a thing. To my surprise - nothing!

"What nobody is pissed at this!?" Then what I saw next caught me by surprise!

Driving down the highway, one of the lollipops that was stripped of its personally for months, all of a sudden had a wreath wrapped around the head. A few miles down the road a memorial that used to have a 5' long surfboard now has a small surfboard-shaped plaque and a nice,simple bouquet of flowers.

Little by little a few of the stripped memorials have their personality again. The flowers are back; the crosses showed up again and so did the teddy bears. Smaller & more subtle, maybe symbolic of the diminishing levels of grief, but they are back.

What I realized is that I am holding on to the anger of my grief. I have not moved on. I used to think that these are symbols of grief and of loss - but I am now realizing that they represent the endurance, resilience & hope of our humanity.

We will always survive, no matter the circumstances, or trials & tribulations that life throws at us - we will endure! And we will heal.

I think "I will endure" - therefore I will!